Two Cups

Reading with my kiddos this week has brought me to tears many times. It's not like this is an unusual occurrence. We read tons of amazing books that we end up biting our nails to see how it ends and lifting up teary cheers in the end.

But the stories this week have been violent ones.

Ones about death.

And not the suspense genre kind.

Of these historical stories, the one that most deeply affected me was the one today called Two Cups.

It started with a simple meal, shared among friends. One cup, a symbol for what would take place starting later that night.

But the other cup symbolized a willingness to take part in an act that would mean death. Destruction. Hell in a very literal sense.

The first cup held wine and was blessed by Jesus and given to the disciples.

The second He drank in the garden of Gethsemane.

It's that cup which has brought me to tears this week. Not only did Jesus endure excruciating physical pain, but He became sin and experienced seperation from the Father.

So we wouldn't have to.

I can't begin to comprehend it. But it does something to my heart when I try. When I see the whip lashes and rough cross. When I listen to His last words.

When I realize He did all that for me.

As my children and I were talking about this, I said something that continues to reverberate in my soul~ I wonder if we really thought about what Jesus did on the cross, would it be so easy to sin?

For me, when I really contemplate the cross, it breaks my heart how easy it is for me to walk away and forget. To sin.

But that is one of the beautiful things about Easter. It's a time to remember. The cups Jesus drank. The cross where He died. The Empy Tomb.

To lift our eyes once again and give thanks, surrounded by other believers, watched by the angels and smiled on by God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

Because the cross declares our freedom from sin, the punishment paid. My life and yours redeemed.

And the Garden of Gethsemane reminds me of the two cups. Jesus offered one to do in remembrance of the new covenant. He drank from the second cup, willingly accepting the Father's plan. He took on suffering, sin and separation so that we could experience salvation. Abundant Life. Freedom.

I pray this Easter is one of remembrance. Of cup drinking. Of tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. And taking the cup willingly, receiving His good plan for us~ bitter along with sweet.

God is good all the time. And all the time, He is good. May this Good Friday and Easter Sunday be eyes-open days, full of light.

Drink deep and worship.

Heart Music

Music touches my heart in a way that few other things can. That's why I listen to it every morning as I get ready. And I often write songs into my books because that's one big way God speaks past my mind and straight into my soul.

This morning three songs opened my eyes and set me to worshiping before I was even fully awake. I love days like that!

Here are some of the lines that grabbed my attention...

Somewhere in the Middle by Casting Crowns

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle


What hit the hardest for me was the reality that way too often I'm willing to surrender, but only as long as I don't lose all control. Which is, in reality, not surrender. Then the lines about how God loves us even when we're caught in the middle stole my breath.

God loves us no matter what.

Thank You, Lord, that after twenty-two years, I haven't grown used to that six-word reality. Your mercies are new each morning and Your love is always ours.


Every Man by Casting Crowns

My life is scarred and my dreams unraveled
Now I'm scared to take the leap
If I could find someone to follow who knows my pain and feels the weight
The uncertainty of my tomorrow, the guilt and pain of yesterday

There is hope for every man
A solid place where we can stand
In this dry and weary land
There is hope for every man
There is Love that never dies
There is peace in troubled times
Will we help them understand?
There is hope for every man

I've lived a lot of my life with unraveled dreams, being scared to take the leap again. And I'm not alone. But God is an amazing heart healer and dream redeemer!

This song reminded me today that as long as we have breath, we have hope for tomorrow and today. Hope that never fails because its foundation is Jesus.


I Am by Nichole Nordeman

You saw my mistakes
And watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said, Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper
Be my best friend
And You said, I Am

This song has long been a favorite. If you have a minute, here's a more detailed look at how deep this song is rooted in my heart: Stones of Remembrance

My favorite name for God is "I AM." Always in the present, always everything I need. That's a truth I can't wrap my mind around, but God has wrapped around me.

There are many ways God speaks to us. The top three ways I hear Him best are: the sound of water, music, and my children’s prayers.

What about you all? In this month many focus on love, what are the ways God speaks His love over you?

An early Valentine's thought

This morning, God stopped me from my usual bleary-eyed preparations and highlighted a few thoughts in Psalm 95.

I typically read through the Psalms when life hurts and for the last half of 2007, that's where I camped out. The passion and devotion expressed in this book helped me through January too.

But today I was awakened again to the reality that I have so very much to be thankful for and a God who loves me more than I can even comprehend.

So move over Hallmark... God just sent the perfect early Valentine greeting.

Here are the snippets from Psalm 95 I wrote in my journal this morning...

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God... Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the flock under his care.

Realizing how little I've taken time to physically and emotionally kneel before God, I started with confession and continued on into tearful words of thanks and amazement at how awesome God's gifts are in my life.

But even more how awesome and incredible and breathtaking He is.

This God who loves us when we praise Him, and when we forget to open our Bible. When we sing for joy or weep without words. He receives us, no matter what.

Here are some things I sniffled and smiled to God about...

My husband~ we've begun to enjoy the fruits from all the heart work God has been doing in our lives recently, and it's been incredible. Not only that, but my hubby is an AMAZING web genius who's working hard to make the super fun ideas we created as a family for my new website into reality.

My daughters~ homeschool and life aren't always rose-colored, but my kiddos remind me daily that forgiveness is a word away and love is never in short supply here.

My church~ even with all the loss and sorrow we've experienced already this year, our church is the home we've longed for and the community we'd hoped existed. Now we know and love belonging in such a God-present place.

My friends~ both the writers and "normals" (non-writers) who love me are gifts so precious they brought tears to my eyes this morning. Recalling heart chocolate emails and phone calls, visits and cards, I can't but praise the Lord for getting to share this journey with such wonderful people.

Writing~ there was a time I wrote out of sheer obedience and it felt like shedding blood to do this work. But recently God has renewed a passion in me and I'm experiencing once again His smile as I write, dream, and look ahead at "what's next" and what is right now.

Knowing that God is the Author and Word made flesh sent me down another path of praise too. How good God is all the time. And all the time, He is good.

Whether weeping without words or in a season or praise, I hope you'll ponder today how near God is and how much He loves you...

He calls you by name.

He holds you in the palm of His hand.

He addresses you as His beloved child.

He loves you with an everlasting love that nothing on this earth can alter.

He smiles with every thought of you~ thoughts that outnumber the sand on the shore.

He adores you on Valentine's Day and every other day of the year, and (as we like to say in the Wallace home) TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! ;-)

I pray you'll enjoy a little knee-time today as you look up and see God smiling right beside you or weeping with you. He is there. Always.