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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Pet sins

I don't know about you, but there are areas I know well how weak I am. There are also some places in my heart and attitude I try to ignore.

Kind of like I try to ignore my kids repeated request to have a pet.

See, I'm now out of the diaper stage of parenting and the last thing I want is a puppy whimpering for a walk at 2 AM or the other odious tasks involved in pet care.

It's not that I dislike animals. I'm just living on the slow boil setting where one more daily task will turn the heat up to a Mount St. Helen's eruption in my brain.

Anyone relate?

Well, God seems to have the same view of my "pet sins" as I do of pets. Not that He can't handle them, but He knows I'm the one who can't handle those sins I'd rather ignore. Because they hurt me. And those I love.

But it's easier to feed these "pet sins" with words like, "They're not so bad" or lots of age-old excuses about my upbringing or life stage or so many things on my plate.

I'm always amused when folks give me these answers when we talk about "pet sins" like "frustration" or "chocoholism."

Ouch. That last one hurts.

And I'm not saying that the consumption of chocolate is a sin or that feeling frustrated is a sin. But for me, I know these two areas by other names...

Anger and gluttony.

And they are two "pet sins" God is opening me eyes to how much I feed them in my thoughts and actions.

It's not a pretty picture.

What frees me from dissolving into self-destructive thought patterns and the fast spiral downward is simple.

Not easy.

It's looking these "pet sins" in the mirror and calling them what they are.

Then, once I see them clearly, I can confess and throw myself in my heavenly Daddy's arms and admit I have no idea how to "fix" it.

I can't help but think He smiles when I do that.

He knows full well I can't fix it and He's never asked me to do that. What He asks is that I run to Him, depend on Him, and more than all the rest... love Him.

It helps that I know from experience He's far more filling and fulfilling than a piece of chocolate.

It also helps to remember the verses my kids and I read this morning.... nothing separates us from the love of God.

Not trials, pain or "pet sins."


So instead of eating that tempting piece of chocolate or letting Mount St. Helen's erupt in my brain, I think I'll go do a mirror check.

And trust that our heavenly Daddy is looking in there with me, eyes filled with love.


Mary said...

Oh Amy, I have those two pet sins too...anger and frustration. I'm realizing how much my fear of "erupting" is cheating me and my kids of special time together. It's funny, I never put two and two together about some incidents that happened in my childhood, and how far I bend over backward to keep them from happening in my home. Like refraining from doing intricate projects with my kids, because I'm all wiped out from homeschooling and am scared I won't have the patience for it. We're watching the Wild at Heart DVD series by John Eldridge right now, and even though it's for men, it's really impacting ME! Interestingly, his website is Ransomed Heart Ministries, which makes me think of you!

Thanks for sharing this honest and encouraging post, Amy. ((hugs))

Amy Wallace said...

Thank you much, dear friend, for sharing your insight. The point about not doing intricate projects hit home here.

I really enjoyed Eldridge's Waking the Dead book. God used it to do a mighty work in my heart.

Thanks for sharing too and encouraging me!

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