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Friday, February 23, 2007


This is one word I really detest. But it's a fact of the writing life. And of life in general.

If you’d like to see the short version, (Yes, I do write some short things! LOL) check it out at my new ShoutLife page. (You’ll have to sign up to see the entire post, but this is a free, Christian online community that’s been a blast to be a member of.)

But for you all who are used to my longer thoughts, I’m going to go deeper into the reality of rejection in all of life and what I think about it.

In two words…it stinks.

And right now I’m trying to sort out in my head how to deal with a very personal rejection that I’m fighting through.

It hurts.

Please pray for me to handle this relationship with grace. And if you know me well, pray that the Lord will put His hand over my mouth until what I say are His words and His words alone. Thank you.

Back to my thoughts on rejection in general…

Earlier today I was inspired by an email from a fellow author to go dig out my rejection folder. In it are some dozen or more rejection letters and emails from various publishers. Here are some of my (now) favorite rejection blips...

"The Journey did not generate sufficient enthusiasm for us to consider publication."

"This story is not of the exceptional quality I need to see in order to acquire it."

"The author's voice seems a little melodramatic and unoriginal. It has a lot of clichés and seems to try to pull at heartstrings in familiar ways."

Ouch. They still sting a little even though all of these comments are years old. They're also all about the first book I ever wrote.

The book that is now a published novel.

But you know what? Those editors were right. Looking back on the tome I typed over five years ago, I can see all of what they saw. But God had a plan. And my editor caught the vision.

In many ways I'm thankful for these rejection blips. They mean I took a chance in following my dream. They mean I had ways I could improve. Holding them now they mean I didn't give up. I kept going when the rejections piled up and few had anything good to say.

I can thankfully say the same for many relationships in which I’ve experienced rejection. Because God and God alone kept me firmly planted in those relationships until I was willing to see His hand in them.

And in the rejection I felt from them.

Many times the rejections weren’t deserved. They had to do with something the other person was struggling with and I just happened to be an easy target.

But there were times the painful words were well warranted. Even when they weren’t, what I did with the words and feelings directed at me mattered most. Often, what I did at first was get mad. Then cry.

Finally, I took them to God.

Above all else, that’s what made the difference between me giving up or choosing to love, write, and live anyway.

Only after I’d gone to God and heard His truth about what He sees in me and says about me could I forgive. After that is when I was able to learn from each of the experiences, rejection letters, etc.

Here’s what I learned:

What matters is that God has a plan and purpose for my life. A good plan and a good purpose that no amount of rejection will alter.

You see, God looks at my fledgling and often flawed efforts to communicate to a loved one or tell a story that moves me and HE says, "It is good." Why? Because I put my behind in the chair, typed my dream, and sent it out in obedience to Him. Because I spoke the words He put on my heart or reached out to show love to another person.

In truth, I can’t say that every word I’ve spoken were God’s words. And in any conflict there are two sides, viewpoints, and things done out of emotion instead of faith.

But the test of our character is what we do with rejection. And what we do with the words and actions we sinned by saying or doing. What we do with the sins of others.

It’s hard to write and know that someone somewhere is not going to like it and tell the world about that. It’s hard to keep loving someone who continues to say and do things that feel rejecting.

But as long as God calls me to write, as long as He whispers to my heart to forgive and not give up on the relationship, my choice is to obey.

To keep writing. To remember the cross, repent of my sin, and forgive.

That’s painful. And there’s no guarantee there won’t be more rejection ahead. But when I know I’m being obedient to my heavenly Father’s direction, then I can remember this verse with joy: "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God that which cost me nothing." (2 Samuel 24:24)

Writing and loving other flawed human beings are both acts of obedience and acts of worship. Ones that costs much. But it draws me deeper into Christ. It honors HIM. And that's why I'll keep writing and loving and running to Christ.

After all, that’s the best place to rest.


Rel said...

Amy ~ you are so special to record your deepest thoughts to encourage others and remind us of what is really important. Your vulnerability is inspiring and reminds us we are not alone in our hurt and cries for help.

Bless you!

Amy Wallace said...

Thank you, Rel!

Sometimes it's hard to put my thoughts out there, but it's harder to keep them inside when I know every time I sit down to write God works in my heart.

I also pray my struggles and the lessons I'm learning will encourage others. It's awesome to hear that's happening!


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