I'm not a morning person. But I live in a home of early birds, so I've worked hard to become a reformed night owl.
It hasn't worked.
But lately it's not been pure circadian rhythms that have kept me in bed. It’s been more along the lines of dreading another day’s trials. And instead of getting up anyway to spend time with God in the morning, I’ve slept later and later…
And later.
Today it hit me that I was being passive aggressive with God.
Odd thought. But when I started to look at it I realized that was exactly what I was doing. Without allowing my conscience to process it, I’d decided if God wasn’t going to answer my prayers and make things easier to handle, then I’d just sleep more to feel better.
It didn’t work.
So this morning I got honest with God. I poured out all the things I wanted Him to change and exactly what I thought of Him not changing them. Then I apologized for playing games with Him.
It felt good to cry. Good to come like a little child caught with her hand in the cookie jar: humbly embarrassed over my foolish actions, but confident God had forgiven and loved me still.
Then I asked Him to show me how to stay present with Him in the pain and not run from it. How to keep praising Him in the storm when the experience of His closeness faded.
He took me back to a place I’d forgotten. The place where I used to run at the first sign of trouble.
God took me back to the Psalms.
Asaph’s lament in Psalm 77 echoed through time and resonated in my soul. “Will He never show His favor again? Has God forgotten to be merciful?”
I felt the Lord whisper, “I do understand how you feel, Amy. I see you. I know.”
The reminder that I’m not invisible in my pain, that God is not ignoring me broke the vice grip that pain had clamped around my heart.
Reading on, the next words took my weary mind and body and wrapped them in a warm embrace.
“I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds…You are the God who performs miracles.”
“Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.”
In black and white, there was the simple truth of missing footprints.
Even when His presence in our lives feels absent, He is still here. And He’s already walked through the mighty waters.
So that we can too.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Praise in the storm
There's a song about the storms of life that I can't get out of my heart and I suppose that's a good thing. Except the song I'd rather have is one where life is rosy and without trials.
Guess that one will have to wait until Heaven.
Here are the lyrics....
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
This is Casting Crowns song "Praise You in This Storm." And it's a fitting anthem for where I continue to find myself these days.
I'd hoped 2007 would be different than 2006. Funny thing is the same stresses and fears are pounding my heart and tearing at my faith, but I'm different.
And God is not.
He's still here.
It's so easy to forget that when physical and emotional pain pummel like an unrelenting winter blizzard.
When all I want is to come in from the rain and never be away from the warm fire and shelter again.
But that’s not life down here.
On planet earth we are daily faced with the “pray harder, stretch farther, and just get it done” attitude that comes from within and without. We live with bodies that grow older each day and illnesses that strip away our smiles like the last leaf of autumn in a thunderstorm.
But we don’t have to collapse and let the storm destroy us. Or our faith.
Easier said than done, yes.
But it can be done. In Christ. By believing the Truth. By lifting our weary and wet hands and remembering…
He’s still here.
And that makes a difference because when we look in His face we can rest assured He knows the purpose and plan for our lives. He knows what we can’t see. Regardless of whether we understand or not, He has measured our burdens and charted our path for good.
For glory.
That truth may not keep the bite out of the wind, but if we allow the Holy Spirit to whisper to us of Home, of God’s love, His provision and protection~ no matter how invisible they seem~ we’ll catch a glimpse of the sun again.
And maybe even pause and rest a bit in the light and shelter of the Son.
Then when we stand to walk again we’ll do so in His strength, knowing there is an end to this rain. It’s coming.
Until then, we can praise Him in the storm and fix our eyes firmly toward Home.
Guess that one will have to wait until Heaven.
Here are the lyrics....
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
This is Casting Crowns song "Praise You in This Storm." And it's a fitting anthem for where I continue to find myself these days.
I'd hoped 2007 would be different than 2006. Funny thing is the same stresses and fears are pounding my heart and tearing at my faith, but I'm different.
And God is not.
He's still here.
It's so easy to forget that when physical and emotional pain pummel like an unrelenting winter blizzard.
When all I want is to come in from the rain and never be away from the warm fire and shelter again.
But that’s not life down here.
On planet earth we are daily faced with the “pray harder, stretch farther, and just get it done” attitude that comes from within and without. We live with bodies that grow older each day and illnesses that strip away our smiles like the last leaf of autumn in a thunderstorm.
But we don’t have to collapse and let the storm destroy us. Or our faith.
Easier said than done, yes.
But it can be done. In Christ. By believing the Truth. By lifting our weary and wet hands and remembering…
He’s still here.
And that makes a difference because when we look in His face we can rest assured He knows the purpose and plan for our lives. He knows what we can’t see. Regardless of whether we understand or not, He has measured our burdens and charted our path for good.
For glory.
That truth may not keep the bite out of the wind, but if we allow the Holy Spirit to whisper to us of Home, of God’s love, His provision and protection~ no matter how invisible they seem~ we’ll catch a glimpse of the sun again.
And maybe even pause and rest a bit in the light and shelter of the Son.
Then when we stand to walk again we’ll do so in His strength, knowing there is an end to this rain. It’s coming.
Until then, we can praise Him in the storm and fix our eyes firmly toward Home.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Arms of Deliverance blog tour
Arms of Deliverance is a book written by a dear friend, Tricia Goyer, who is a master at writing haunting depictions of the autocracies of war and the triumph of faith. Through the power of story Tricia brings history alive.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tricia Goyer has written hundreds of articles, Bible Study notes, and both fiction (three WWII novels: From Dust to Ashes, Night Song and Dawn of a Thousand Nights) and non-fiction books. She's married to John, and they have three great kids whom she homeschools: Cory (17), Leslie (14), and Nathan (12). They make their home in Northwest Montana with their dog, Lilly. And especially for Gen Xers: Tricia's parenting blog Generation NeXt
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Arms of Deliverance
The fourth and final novel in this exhilarating series capturing the tales of men and women swept into World War II.
EUROPE, 1944
Katrine, a Czech Jew, is so successful in her attempt to pass as an Aryan that she finds herself dating a Nazi officer. Having convinced him of her genetic purity, the officer sends her to stay at a Lebensborn home--a Nazi breeding program in which children are raised and indoctrinated by the state.
Meanwhile, two friends, Mary and Lee, one a socialite, the other a working class girl, land similar reporting jobs at the New York Tribune on the eve of the war’s outbreak. Now rivals with assignments on the frontlines of war-torn Europe, Lee joins troops sailing for Normandy, while Mary's destiny lies in the cramped quarters of a B-17 bearing down on Berlin. Before the presses roll, their lives will be indelibly marked by a caring American navigator, brave French resistors, and a maniacal Nazi officer. Arms of Deliverance is a story of unexpected redemption.
Read Chapter One on Tricia's Blog.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Ten Things About Parenting
Here's my tongue in cheek take on parenting. Enjoy! And please let me know I'm not the only one who's often worn out by the monumental task of parenting but loves my kids to infinity and beyond. ;-)
Ten Things I Wish I'd Known About Parenting
1) Three year olds really do think they rule the world.
2) So do tweens.
3) Mommies really can take a nap and the world will not self-destruct.
4) Pet fish aren't flushable; they must be buried.
5) Chocolate is a food group.
6) Children can be reasoned with and will be obedient...as long as there's chocolate involved.
7) A piece of chocolate not only makes the medicine go down, but also peas, broccoli, and carrots too.
8) Subtle hints will be categorically ignored.
9) As "the baby" grows up, moms learn how to cry and cheer at the same time.
10) That the same instruction can be repeated ad nauseam and still be ignored...but somehow they really do "get it." Eventually.
1) Three year olds really do think they rule the world.
2) So do tweens.
3) Mommies really can take a nap and the world will not self-destruct.
4) Pet fish aren't flushable; they must be buried.
5) Chocolate is a food group.
6) Children can be reasoned with and will be obedient...as long as there's chocolate involved.
7) A piece of chocolate not only makes the medicine go down, but also peas, broccoli, and carrots too.
8) Subtle hints will be categorically ignored.
9) As "the baby" grows up, moms learn how to cry and cheer at the same time.
10) That the same instruction can be repeated ad nauseam and still be ignored...but somehow they really do "get it." Eventually.
For those of you who don't know "the rest of the story" here's a little bit about me... Amy is married to a hunk, a homeschool mom of 3, writer, youth Bible study
leader, and avid chocoholic. Those are some of the hats she loves to wear,
but who Amy really is can be summed up in this: Amy is a daughter of the
King learning to live and love with laughter.
leader, and avid chocoholic. Those are some of the hats she loves to wear,
but who Amy really is can be summed up in this: Amy is a daughter of the
King learning to live and love with laughter.
Defenders of Hope~ There's still time to sign up for the DOH newsletter and enter to win an amazing gift basket of books, chocolate, Starbuck's gift card, and DOH merchandise!
And for those of you who do know me and love me anyway, thanks for hanging out here and listening to me jabber away.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Looking back to move ahead
Sometimes it's good to take a minute and reflect on where you've been. To remember the lessons learned in the past. Mistakes too, so maybe next time around they won't get repeated.
Here's my list for 2006:
1) Living a dream is awesome, but like true worship it costs a great deal.
2) Family time lost will never be regained. But instead of wishing for a different season of life or more hours in a day, I can make the best of what I've been given and cherish the moments I have.
3) Putting my behind in my chair is the best way to meet a deadline. But I have to get out of that chair to exercise or I'll stop fitting into said seat.
4) The wide-eyed wonder of Christmas doesn't have to get packed away with the decorations. A glimpse can be caught even on sick days when everyone is snuggled up watching a favorite movie. It's in those unexpected moments I've found the best reminders to wonder and worship.
5) Treating my husband and myself to an overnight spa trip for our 12th anniversary was an excellent way to usher in a year of REST.
6) The best things in life come when I stop trying to capture them and simply live them.
7) Life is a journey where bad stuff happens, and it's easier to flop down ask "why?" then it is to trust anyway and keep walking. But the why's don't make life any easier to swallow. The strength to get up the next day only comes from remembering God is God and whatever the reasons the simple truth is we are loved and there is a good future for us~ guaranteed.
8) I don't have to keep up with the Joneses or the Clarks or any other "ideal" family, writer, Christian, etc. I am me and my job here is to love God, obey Him, and leave the consequences and how others judge them in His hands. (I'm sure this lesson will show up on my next year's list too because I need the reminder often.)
9) There is suffering in the world and in my backyard that I'll never be able to fix or understand. But I can pray. And only then can I do whatever God shows me to do.
10) There is great joy and reason to celebrate in the world and in my backyard. For them I can be thankful and remember both the rain and the sun come from the all-wise and loving hand of God.
For those of you who know the tears behind every number on this short list, thank you. For your prayers, your listening ear, and your needed reminders to keep walking.
For those of you who have allowed me the privilege of sharing some of your tears and smiles, thank you. Your love and friendship are treasured gifts.
Here's to moving ahead and daily asking with childlike faith, "Daddy, what adventure awaits us today?"
Here's my list for 2006:
1) Living a dream is awesome, but like true worship it costs a great deal.
2) Family time lost will never be regained. But instead of wishing for a different season of life or more hours in a day, I can make the best of what I've been given and cherish the moments I have.
3) Putting my behind in my chair is the best way to meet a deadline. But I have to get out of that chair to exercise or I'll stop fitting into said seat.
4) The wide-eyed wonder of Christmas doesn't have to get packed away with the decorations. A glimpse can be caught even on sick days when everyone is snuggled up watching a favorite movie. It's in those unexpected moments I've found the best reminders to wonder and worship.
5) Treating my husband and myself to an overnight spa trip for our 12th anniversary was an excellent way to usher in a year of REST.
6) The best things in life come when I stop trying to capture them and simply live them.
7) Life is a journey where bad stuff happens, and it's easier to flop down ask "why?" then it is to trust anyway and keep walking. But the why's don't make life any easier to swallow. The strength to get up the next day only comes from remembering God is God and whatever the reasons the simple truth is we are loved and there is a good future for us~ guaranteed.
8) I don't have to keep up with the Joneses or the Clarks or any other "ideal" family, writer, Christian, etc. I am me and my job here is to love God, obey Him, and leave the consequences and how others judge them in His hands. (I'm sure this lesson will show up on my next year's list too because I need the reminder often.)
9) There is suffering in the world and in my backyard that I'll never be able to fix or understand. But I can pray. And only then can I do whatever God shows me to do.
10) There is great joy and reason to celebrate in the world and in my backyard. For them I can be thankful and remember both the rain and the sun come from the all-wise and loving hand of God.
For those of you who know the tears behind every number on this short list, thank you. For your prayers, your listening ear, and your needed reminders to keep walking.
For those of you who have allowed me the privilege of sharing some of your tears and smiles, thank you. Your love and friendship are treasured gifts.
Here's to moving ahead and daily asking with childlike faith, "Daddy, what adventure awaits us today?"
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Welcome to 2007!!!
I'm excited to be back at work (some moments; others I'm still totally missing my beautiful Christmas tree and all the caroled reminders of God with us) and back to doing some blog tours.
Pray for me as I work through a tight deadline for my galleys (pages and pages of Ransomed Dreams in book form that are my last chance to catch any mistakes) and as I start writing book 3. This book will be the toughest yet because of content and the research awaiting me in January.
Now for the blog tour...
This week's author is VERY SPECIAL to me. She's my mentor, friend, and all-around amazing woman. The featured book is part of a series I've been privileged to see built from scratch and the stories are as beautiful as the heart they flow from. Enjoy!
This is Marilynn Griffith. Isn't she awesome??? I love the bio found on her website where you can read more about the amazing topics Mary speaks on and find more info on her Serious Fun fiction parties or book club call-ins.
About Mary...
Marilynn Griffith is mom to a tribe, wife to a deacon and proof that God gives second chances. While best known for her colorful novels about friendship, family and faith, Marilynn is also a speaker and nonfiction writer. Her nonfiction has been included in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE CHRISTIAN WOMAN'S SOUL and several other devotionals and magazines. Currently, Marilynn is editor of the SISTAHFAITH:BELIEVING BEYOND SHAME anthology. She is also the founder of Faithchick.com, a devotional site for women.
Marilynn is the author of six novels dealing with issues such as teen pregnancy, AIDS, abstinence, stress relief, single parenting and marriage. Her novels include Made of Honor (Steeple Hill, Jan. 2006), Pink (Revell, Feb. 2006), Jade (Revell, June 2006), and If the Shoe Fits (Revell, 2007). Marilynn has served as Vice President and Publicity Officer of American Christian Fiction Writers. She speaks to youth, women and writers about believing beyond boundaries and daring to reach dreams. Marilynn lives in Florida with her husband and seven children whom she taught at home for seven years.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Tangerine is the third book in the Shades of Style Novels.
Fans of Pink and Jade will eat up Tangerine, the third book in the cutting-edge Shades of Style series. Jean Guerra, a designer at Garments of Praise design firm, doesn't like surprises. These days though, the unexpected meets her everywhere. Since Jean's return to the church a year ago, her God-encounters occur with increasing frequency, along with thoughts of her husband-the one she vowed to divorce and gave up on long ago. The one nobody at work knows about, not even her best friend, Lily, or her boss, Chenille. But when the designer assigned to work with Jean on a line of men's suits shows up, her heart flips. It's her husband, Nigel Salvador. Jean is finally rendered speechless. Can her bruised heart become whole enough to love again? Or will she remain in the trenches of loneliness forever?
Amy here: Mary's books are sure to engage and challenge you to think and dream beyond boundaries. I hope you'll check out Tangerine and the other Shades of Style novels. Be sure to check out the acknowledgements pages too... everything Mary writes is time well spent reading.
Happy 2007!
Pray for me as I work through a tight deadline for my galleys (pages and pages of Ransomed Dreams in book form that are my last chance to catch any mistakes) and as I start writing book 3. This book will be the toughest yet because of content and the research awaiting me in January.
Now for the blog tour...
This week's author is VERY SPECIAL to me. She's my mentor, friend, and all-around amazing woman. The featured book is part of a series I've been privileged to see built from scratch and the stories are as beautiful as the heart they flow from. Enjoy!
This is Marilynn Griffith. Isn't she awesome??? I love the bio found on her website where you can read more about the amazing topics Mary speaks on and find more info on her Serious Fun fiction parties or book club call-ins.
About Mary...
Marilynn Griffith is mom to a tribe, wife to a deacon and proof that God gives second chances. While best known for her colorful novels about friendship, family and faith, Marilynn is also a speaker and nonfiction writer. Her nonfiction has been included in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE CHRISTIAN WOMAN'S SOUL and several other devotionals and magazines. Currently, Marilynn is editor of the SISTAHFAITH:BELIEVING BEYOND SHAME anthology. She is also the founder of Faithchick.com, a devotional site for women.
Marilynn is the author of six novels dealing with issues such as teen pregnancy, AIDS, abstinence, stress relief, single parenting and marriage. Her novels include Made of Honor (Steeple Hill, Jan. 2006), Pink (Revell, Feb. 2006), Jade (Revell, June 2006), and If the Shoe Fits (Revell, 2007). Marilynn has served as Vice President and Publicity Officer of American Christian Fiction Writers. She speaks to youth, women and writers about believing beyond boundaries and daring to reach dreams. Marilynn lives in Florida with her husband and seven children whom she taught at home for seven years.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Tangerine is the third book in the Shades of Style Novels.
Fans of Pink and Jade will eat up Tangerine, the third book in the cutting-edge Shades of Style series. Jean Guerra, a designer at Garments of Praise design firm, doesn't like surprises. These days though, the unexpected meets her everywhere. Since Jean's return to the church a year ago, her God-encounters occur with increasing frequency, along with thoughts of her husband-the one she vowed to divorce and gave up on long ago. The one nobody at work knows about, not even her best friend, Lily, or her boss, Chenille. But when the designer assigned to work with Jean on a line of men's suits shows up, her heart flips. It's her husband, Nigel Salvador. Jean is finally rendered speechless. Can her bruised heart become whole enough to love again? Or will she remain in the trenches of loneliness forever?
Amy here: Mary's books are sure to engage and challenge you to think and dream beyond boundaries. I hope you'll check out Tangerine and the other Shades of Style novels. Be sure to check out the acknowledgements pages too... everything Mary writes is time well spent reading.
Happy 2007!
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