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Thursday, March 02, 2006

What's your worth?

The other day I had a rare car ride alone with my oldest daughter. She confided in me that she wished she had curly hair and went on to add that she liked the name “Marianne” because when she says that name she sees a young and free little girl with beautiful curly hair who wears cute clothes and not glasses which make her look too old.

Everything my daughter believes she is not.

My heart hurt for her. Hurt because as we talked I heard all the lies I’ve believed too. Hurt because my daughter is struggling with things that run so deep for every female I’ve ever known or read about.

I’d be beautiful if… (fill in the blank)

I’m not pretty, important, worth being noticed because… (fill in the blank)

We can all fill in those blanks, can’t we?

What hurt even more was that I realized anew how painful those lies are and how hard it is to see the truth. Even for adults. When we have TV and movies and books to tell us that we should be this tiny size or have that type of hair or wear this type of clothes, it’s hard to believe God made us correctly.

The whisper comes to us like it did to Eve…

“Did God really say?” In other words—maybe God made a mistake.

I’d like to do what Eve and Adam did and play the blame game. It’s the TV’s fault. It’s society’s fault. It’s those mean kids who teased my daughter about her glasses.

But the truth is we have the power to choose.

We believe the lie or the truth.

We accept the world’s view or we don’t.

We believe God made us beautiful in His sight, exactly how He intended us to be.

Or we don’t.

But so what if we don’t believe God made us right with our straight or curly hair, with our pear or apple shape, with our glasses or not…then what?

Then we slide down the slippery slope of unbelief that leads in the opposite direction of our Heavenly Daddy’s arms.

Whether we’re eight, like my daughter, or eighty~ if we hate, dislike, could stand to improve, or are just mildly dissatisfied with our bodies~ we’re in effect looking in the face of our Creator and saying, “You didn’t make me right. You made a mistake.”

And who wants to hang out with the person that’s to blame for all we don’t like about ourselves?

My eight-year-old daughter is already getting hammered by the lies of the enemy attacking her beauty and her concept of who she really is. Lies that if left unchecked by the truth would eventually lead her away from the Lord to any number of painful places.

To spending lots of money on “cute” clothes. (And having to replace said clothes every few weeks because the fashion world and people’s opinions are fickle.)

To a male’s attention.

To self-hatred and depression.

To diet after diet ‘til the mirror tells her she’s beautiful.

Which won’t happen.

Because the mirror only reports what’s written on your heart. What you believe.

So what do you believe about yourself? Do you believe you’re beautiful? A unique creation that the God of the universe delights in. A beloved child of your Heavenly Daddy who said in the Garden and still says every time He looks at you, “It is good.”

Or do you believe your hair, clothes, glasses, body shape, and name say differently?

Let me share with you what I shared with my little girl…

I told her that the enemy is trying hard to get her to base her worth on the outside stuff. The things we can’t change—without much pain and expense—like our body shape, eyesight, and hair type. Instead of what God says is most important.

Our heart.

Our heart, which—if we belong to Him—has already been redeemed and made new. A heart that, if we live out of the truth, can change the world and shine His glory. A heart that, if we believe the truth, rests in His presence and glorifies Him by enjoying Him forever.

But when we base our worth on the outside stuff, we depend on anyone and everyone else to tell us we’re okay. And that quickly leads to pain. Compromise. Dissatisfaction. Anger at ourselves and others for never seeming to make the cut of what’s enough. Or, if we make the cut sometimes, we end up on the treadmill of acceptance working hard to keep the positive opinions coming.

Never looking to God. Or if we look to Him not really believing what He says is true. But that doesn’t change what’s true.

God says we’re beloved children. (Isaiah 43:1)

Beautiful. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

The apple of His eye. (Zechariah 2:8)

Worth counting every hair on our heads and capturing every tear in his bottle. (Matthew 10:30-31 and Psalm 56:8)

Worth singing over. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Worth dying for. (John 3:16)

Worth living with forever. (John 14:2-3)

Worth waiting for and wooing so that we’ll turn from the lies, from the fickle opinion of our mirror and other’s words, and come home. (Matthew 11:28 and John 6:29)

To an opinion of you that never changes. (Hebrews 13:8)

Is filled with love. (1 John 4:8-10)

And given with a smile and outstretched arms. (Luke 15:20)

Don’t believe that? That’s okay. It’s still true.

But God’s desire is that you believe the truth. In fact He said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Maybe it’s time to take another look at that mirror. Only this time, ask the Lord, “What do You see? What’s true about me?” Then listen closely.

The one who sees you first thing in the morning and even on bad hair days says you’re worth far more than rubies.

In fact, He is enthralled with your beauty. (Psalm 45:11)


HeyJules said...

You tell that daughter of yours that its okay to care about how she looks on the outside as long as she KNOWS she's beautiful on the inside. I sure wish somebody would have told ME that...

Amy Wallace said...


I sure wish somebody had explained that to me too!

I didn't include it in the blog, but my precious firstborn and I did talk over how God looks at us~ inside and out~ and says we're beautiful. I want her to know beauty starts inside, but also includes appreciating and taking care of the mirror's reflection as well. Not pride and not running from beauty either, which is what I tried to do. Being a rape survivor I hid. Not any more. But I still have so much to learn in that balance and God's given me three girls to teach me even as I teach them. ;-)

He's so good!

Jules, I hope you do know now that you are beautiful inside and out!!!


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