Biography Books Press Room Amy Wallace Books Life Resources Blog Events

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Praying Dangerously

Change me, Lord. 

Our first dangerous, open-ended prayer. If we are going to see the God of the impossible do what only He can do, we need our eyes and hearts open to see and receive.

I don't know about you, but I have a laundry list of things I know need to change in me before I can really see. 

Questions I don't like to admit I ask. 

And things I'd rather God left alone or changed in other people.

You too?

So maybe before we even start praying for God to change us, we need to get honest about what really needs to change. 

Here's my list of what I'd like God to change in me:

Help me lose ten pounds.
Make me quicker to praise than complain.
Help me see people the way God sees them.
Help me forgive the way God forgives.
Make me not focused on myself but focused on Him and others.
Help me trust Him to do the impossible for me.
Help me believe God really does have a purpose and plan for my life. 

Let me be even more transparent here...under those honest requests are some huge hurts.

God, do You think I'm beautiful? Is that enough?
Why does life hurt so much? Are You really at work in the mess? Do You care?
How do You really see me?
Do You really not see my sin when You look at me? Am I really completely forgiven? I don't deserve it, how is it possible? 
Do You care about all of me, so much that I can rest in Your care and not worry about what I need? 
Do You really love me and not just put up with me because You're God and You sort of have to love me? 
Will You really use someone with my life story to change the world? 

Maybe you've never asked those questions. I hope you haven't. Those questions come from deep hurt, not theological doubt. 

Because even though my head and sometimes my heart knows the truth, and I can quote the Scriptures that answer those questions, there's still a frightened little girl inside who didn't get protected and wonders if there really is that protection available...for me. 

See, I believe without a hint of doubt that God loves my children, my family, my friends, and others with a miraculous, unconditional love. A love that is immeasurably more than can be imagined. 

But me? 

I'm afraid to believe that God loves me like that because that...would change everything.

A love like that  would change how I see myself. Accepted. Cherished. Precious. And in turn how I see and treat others.

A love like that would change how I think and speak, how I see circumstances. 

A love like that would change how I forgive.

In a love like that I would find security that all I need will be provided because God promised. Then I would share that love with others.

A love like that would change....everything.

And it has. 

But there's still more that needs to change. 

Praise God His Word promises, "I am certain that God, who began the good work in you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1: 6

So maybe our first dangerous prayer is better stated...

I surrender. Continue Your good work in me. Change me. 

What about you? What must change in You? How will you pray?


Judy said...

Hi, Amy-
For some reason I only got your blog today and am getting caught up on the last couple of entries.
I know....praying for God to change us is a dangerous prayer. Letting go of what puny control we have in our lives is scary!

Amy Wallace said...

Judy, I had forgotten to post on my blog what I was posting on Facebook until a friend at church asked about that. So, I posted the entries I'd written earlier this month to get my blog caught up. Now I'll be posting both places.

Here's to surrender and seeing what God will do in and through us!

Designed by: MasterDesignsArt by: JaggedSmile