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Thursday, August 13, 2009

A deep, dark cave

On Monday, I was praying with a dear friend, and a reoccurring dream from way before I was a writer came back to me. The cool thing was, as I prayed, I started to understand some things I've missed.

But the creepy thing was I could still see the mental pictures as vividly as the first time I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing hard, scared the dream was real.

Any of you dream analysts can go to town on what I'm about to share. I'd love to hear what you think...okay, only if it's along the lines of I'm not crazy. ;-)

The dream starts out with me realizing I'm blindfolded.

I try to tear off the blindfold, but I can't. It's on too tightly. So I start groping for some idea of where I am. And I touch cold.

Rock cold.

Bumpy. Cold. Rough. Hard. Rock.

Pretty soon a frigid wind blows with no noise. No leaves rustling. No animals moving about. Just cold.

I try to step forward, but the ground is pebbly, uneven. Nothing solid.

On one side of me there's just air. Cold air.

On the other side is the rough rock. I cling to the rock and try to scoot my way forward, one foot tapping out in front before I step.

A few times I stumble and the rock under me gives way. There's no one there to catch me.

But somehow I dig into the wall and steady myself, heart hammering, tears falling.

I still can't get the blindfold off.

After miles and miles of stumbling forward, I sense a hand gently tugging me forward. It's large, warm, and smooth. No voice. No comforting arms wrapped around me.

Just some unknown person gently guiding me forward.

As we keep walking forward, I sense more of the world around me. The rock ledge I've been traveling widens and feels more like pavement.

But then, as I explore the area with my hands, I swish into cobwebs and jump back...almost falling into the cold air.

Then the blindfold comes off.

And it's still dark.

I can't see the person guiding me, can't hear anything but the thumping of my heart trying to get out of my rib cage.

So I ask questions.

Why am I hear? What's going on? Who are you?

No answers. Just gentle pressure to keep going.

When I settle into walking one step at a time, pretty soon there's this huge cave opening, but all I can see is light.

Blinding. Painful. Light.

That's when I wake up.

I won't share yet what I've always thought the dream meant. I really do want to hear your thoughts.

What I will share, so as not to leave you anxious and sweating about the dream, is that in praying I finally realized two of the biggest dangers of that cave.

Not the cold abyss I could fall into.

Not the mammoth spiders those webs belong to.

The two biggest dangers were the choices I faced in that cave. The choice to run ahead and try to force my way out. Or to sit down and give up.

So as my friend and I were praying, I asked God to keep us from those two easy choices and show us how to walk the hard walk.

It's soooo not an easy path. It's very rocky.

See... I'm already trying to explain everything. So I'll stop and give you first dibs on unpacking this dream. What do you think it means?

No creepy music sort of ideas either, okay? ;-)

5 comments:

Edna said...

I believe it is telling you what a new book should be about, LOL, I dream so really crazy dreams about things that happed a long time ago or never happened at all, I wonder what make dreams, always have, Sometime they scare me is I dream about someone passing away but I know one thing my Mama has been gone for 29 years and I still dream about her, she is always old and I am not doing as much for her as I should, so I think somewhere I failed as a daughter, She was 45 when I came alone and when she really needed help and the other kids were helping her I have 4 young kids of my own and I tried to do keep her and did the best I could but it made me have a nervoud break down with so much on me so I think my dreams comes from that,

May God bless

mamat2730(at)charter(dot)net

Sheila Deeth said...

Quite a dream, and I love the points you make about the greatest dangers. I would view the hand guiding you as the Lord, and the darkness as a reminder of that we see through a glass darkly.

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Amy Wallace said...

Edna~ thanks for making me laugh about the dream meaning I should write a new book about it! ;-)

Thanks for sharing your dreams too. I wonder if the Lord is using them to speak to your heart about forgiving yourself and realizing that you did the best you could do~ and the Lord loves you unconditionally.

I tend to believe those dreams like the cave one and a few others are directly from the Lord. So I try to listen closely and apply what I can from them.

Amy Wallace said...

Sheila~

Thanks so much for your interpretation! I really liked seeing the guiding hand as the Lord, and "the darkness as a reminder of that we see through a glass darkly."

You said that so beautifully!

 
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