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Saturday, May 07, 2005

A Mother's Day gift to yourself

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms!!! You are such a precious gift to your family. Enjoy this day set aside to celebrate you!

My little ones are spending Saturday morning with their daddy creating beautiful cards and conspiring over plans for tomorrow’s breakfast in bed. I'm praying it will have lots of chocolate that for once doesn't stay with me long after the great taste has passed. ;-)

What I look forward to most of all though are the sweet kisses and hugs they will wrap up in words and present to me in the morning. This day is an extra special one in my home. My girls’ celebration of me is a reminder that God is faithful to take all the bad stuff of my past and my actions each day and bring good from them.

But I'll only experience the fullness of that through a word we so seldom apply to ourselves as moms.

Forgiven.

We know we are forgiven by God. I hear every day that I am forgiven by my precious princesses. Maybe you don't require daily forgiveness from your children, but I have learned that I do and my heart is so touched by their quick and loving forgiveness. It's humbling to hear how I've hurt them with harsh words or discipline that didn't meet the need, but it's also a precious reminder of why Jesus tells us to come like children. My girls are so honest to tell me how they feel and so honest to tell me how totally they forgive me. And they are also so quick to tell me how completely they love me.

Through them I experience a taste of the Father's forgiveness.

And it's even better than chocolate. :-)

But I wonder how many of us extend that type of forgiveness to ourselves? Have you ever yelled or failed to do all you thought you had to get done and decided rather than "let yourself off the hook" you would "try harder" and "do better" next time? You'd pray more, read more, memorize more verses to counter whatever area you most struggle in, and hope that will help. But your heart still feels like you’re wearing a dress three sizes to small. And you’re still struggling and exhausted.

Am I alone in that?

If not, join me in learning to extend the precious gift of forgiveness to your mommy heart and enjoy the breath of freedom the gift of forgiveness gives.

In my post called Borrowed Hope I shared some specific dance steps that can draw you into an incredible rhythm of grace with your heavenly Daddy. Please take a moment to read those steps for the first time or refresh your memory. It will be moments well spent.

The last of those steps was forgiveness~ the dance’s grand finale. A beautiful step that flows from a heart that is honest with the Lord and is learning to let Him heal, restore, and renew.

As I’ve joined this amazing dance, I’ve found forgiving others frees me. My hands had grown tired of the strangle hold I’d kept on so many people. (Matthew 18:28) When I let go of my expectations that these people could some how make up for the pain I felt, my hands began to relax.

But I still kept a firm hold on my own neck. While I could let these other people go to God’s care and healing, I just couldn’t make myself believe I deserved the same treatment.

You see, I’d seen the tears in my children’s eyes from my raised voice and harsh words. I’d felt the hardness of my own heart because I’d tried to change so many times, but failed. For a time I wasn’t willing to risk forgiving myself because I feared facing the fact that I could never make up for my actions to anyone.

But God in His mercy and grace brought me face to face with my failure and showed me the cross. He spoke in His loving way that He’d already paid for all my harsh words, angry discipline, and all the other ways I didn’t measure up.

And so I let go. I let the tears come. Tears for all the tears my daughter’s cried, tears of regret, and tears of pure sorrow.

Then I let God be God and stopped trying to be my own judge and jury. I chose to believe His cross truly did pay the price for me.

I forgive my girls quickly because I trust their hearts. I’m learning to do this with my husband as well. And myself too. I’m learning to trust my heart because the Lord says He’s cleansed me and has given me a new heart. His.

And through forgiving myself I’m learning to see me the way the Lord sees me.

Forgiven.

A treasure.

His beloved child with whom He is well pleased.

Please give yourself the same gift. Hang out with the Lord and let Him show you His amazing love for you, Mom.

And while my girls celebrate me tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating you. Praying that you will give yourself the gift of forgiveness and see yourself as the amazing gift you are.

Happy Mother’s Day!

5 comments:

AngelGailRose said...

hey Amy...just wanted to say hello, so I created an account...anyway...I'll have to read later <3

AngelGailRose said...

wow...ok...yeah...very hard lesson to learn and actually accept...hmmm...well, considering what all I just told u in an email...u know this was screaming at me specifically today..lol...
<3 love ya and hoping yall are well and having a great day!

Macromoments said...

Amy, what a sweet tribute to moms and dads and sweet, huggy children and our heavenly Father. Your writing is captivating and had me nodding.

Amy Wallace said...

Angela,

I'm praying for you, friend! How awesome God is to have used my words to touch your heart. You are so right that this is a hard lesson; it took me months before God allowed me to write this blog post. But I'm so glad I did it in God's time and even more glad God used it to speak to you.

with love and lots of prayers,
Amy

Amy Wallace said...

Bonnie,

Thank you so much for posting! I'm honored by your comments and reminded once again that it is God who directs my words and even when I have no idea who I'm writing for, He knows exactly.

Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your link! I enjoyed reading your writing and viewing your photography from your website and blog. You are most gifted!

God's best to you!
Amy

 
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